Life In a Small Town

I don't like change...that's nothing new. I do like my new computer, but I don't like having to change everything over. I can't get stuff to load on it. I can't get stuff to work on it. All my old saved pics and graphics are now on discs...not at my fingertips. I can't get my scanner to work properly. It is all loaded and running...and when I click "preview scan", it shows me the pics I've put on it, but when I click "scan", it gives me an error and won't show me the pictures. And even the desktop icon for it is different. I can't find stuff. There's no wordpad on here, just a notepad, and it doesn't change color or format the way my wordpad did. I want to do so much now that I have a good computer, and I can't get anything else to work. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR One thing that has not changed is my ability to overspend without realizing it. I picked up my tutoring check, just knowing it was enough to cover my elec...

I've always heard that as you get older, you get wiser, or better, or some such other phrase that's suppose to ease the thought that your life is slipping away. But in some cases, it's true. I'd like to think that I'm more wise than I was 20 years ago. At 21, I was just beginning to explore facets of my being. I was having my first real drinks, losing my virginity--finally, getting my degree to start my career, meeting and becoming friends with people whose lifestyles were very different from any I'd ever seen or experienced before. I was changing so quickly...even to the point of becoming blonde! lol There were so many things I was trying and doing...nothing I'm necessarily ashamed of, or anything illegal, mind you...I don't have all the wild stories to share that some do, but yes, I was growing and changing, and finding out some of the things that were important to me. And in those following 20 years, leading up to the point in my life in which I find ...

or rather....no comments. whatever

What is your favorite television show? ~oh there are so many shows to distract me.... Sunday: Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, Army Wives Monday: Boston Legal, CSI:Miami Tuesday: House Wednesday: Private Practice Thursday: Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, ER, CSI Friday: Starter Wife What is your favorite movie? ~As many movies as I love, it's got to be Sex & the City. It's almost biographical in places. Who is your favorite Actor/Actress? ~again...not just one Actor: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Harry Connick, Jr., Tommy Lee Jones, John Corbett..... Actress: Sandra Bullock, Kate Hudson, Meg Ryan, Diane Keaton..... What is your favorite artists/band? ~why must I settle for just one?? Artist: Barry Manilow, Billy Joel, Joe Walsh, .... Band: Def Leppard, Poison, Aerosmith, Journey, Eagles... What is your favorite song? ~You are my Sunshine What is your favorite type of media? ~I love going to the movies, but tv is way more practical. What, if any, art or literature do you...

What makes someone a good friend? ~Honesty, openness, trust. How do you treat your friends? ~I try to be there for them, to give them encouragement when they need it, be fun to be around, be open to their needs, ....just be there to help out if they need it. Have you ever been friends with someone you didn't really like? ~No. I've tolerated people I didn't really like but if I don't like someone I don't consider them a friend. I have had friends who became people I didn't like and the friendships drifted apart. And I'm certain there are people who can say the same about me. What would your friends say about you? ~Prolly that I'm too needy! What makes you fall in love? ~humor, passion, personality What makes someone fall in love with you? ~ummm...I'm flirty...I hope I'm fun to be with....and I'm easy! LOL Are you loneliest when your single or in a relationship? ~you can be lonely in a room full of people, you can have the time of your life wit...

**Daily Tedium** How long does it take to get out of bed after waking up? ~I'm usually up a minute before the alarm goes off, and I get right up. Otherwise, I'd NEVER get up. I'm not a "snoozer". I don't hit the snooze button, ever! I knew I was tired the other day when I woke up 2 minutes before the alarm and reset the thing for an extra five minutes. I'd rather do that than have it going off another time! Normally tho...I'm just up and at'em. If it takes longer than 1 minute, what do you do? ~If WHAT takes longer?? Getting up? If that takes longer than one minutes, then I know it's gonna be a bad day. What do you think about in the shower? ~Usually about not cutting myself while shaving! Or wondering why I bother to shave "all over" anymore! lol What is usually the first or last thing you eat? ~First thing...usually a diet coke! Last thing...usually a diet coke, just before I turn out the light. Who is most often in your thoughts ...

Continuing the "deeper look".... **Confidence and Egoism** What's your best physical feature? ~I've been told I have pretty hair, and a great smile (which blows my mind considering how crooked my teeth are.) What's your best personality trait? ~I think it's my friendliness What makes someone fall in love with you? ~I honestly have no idea, but I think it's because I spoil them. What is the opposite sex usually attracted to with you? ~my flirtiness I guess, and being blonde with big boobs and a ghetto booty doesn't hurt either, I reckon. Even if I am "chunky". What is your favorite compliment? ~Physically....when someone tells me I'm beautiful. Sincerely. ~personality wise...when my efforts are recognized. What's the best compliment anyone has ever given you? ~physically...While sitting on a greyhound bus during a layover stop, the driver, an older man, who had been looking at me in his mirror for a couple of minutes, caught my attenti...

I found this survey thing that I'd never seen before, so I've decided to break it up into parts to take a closer look at myself. Here's the first part: **Self Loathing** What do you hate about yourself? ~Nothing. I don't "hate" anything period. As for anything about myself I dislike enough to characterize as "hating" it, if I feel that strongly about it then I have a responsibility to do something to change it. But do I? no..not lately. I just gripe about it. Right now it would be my weight. And I know why I'm gaining back everything I took off...but I don't have the motivation to do anything about it. What do you think people say about you when you're not around? ~oh, I worry about this way more than I should. I worry they say bad stuff..like, "can you believe her?" or "who does she think she is", or..."look at her trying to be all that/fit in"...and then laughing at me. Who do you think would go to your fu...

1.) Have you ever purchased an item of clothing and intentionally worn it with tags on it so that you could return it the next day? ~yes....my best high school friend and I would do this. I did it a few times for a dance or something. She even did it for my wedding (we didn't have traditional bridesmaid dresses). 2.) Would you rather be late to the party, or the first person to arrive? Why? ~I HATE being first. I use to always be first to arrive but I've found that the older I get, the later I get! My beau teases me about being perpetually late, knowing that when I say I'll be there in a few minutes, it's gonna be at least 20. 3.) When do you usually begin your Christmas shopping? ~I pick stuff up off and on all year...but then ususally wind up losing it. Ususally tho, about June or July. I've already got a couple of things put back for the kids. When you're on a limited income,and have 3 kids to be Santa for, you can't do it all AT Christmas. 4.) What thre...

I need a hooky day. I've been on the go so much lately....doing this for you, doing that for her, doing the other for them.....I need a *do nothing* for me day. Too bad I don't have time to take one!

I went to the funeral of friend's dad today. He and his wife would've been married 40 years this month. Til Death Do Us Part No truer words were ever spoken. It got me thinking... that statement is true for so many other relationships besides that of a married couple. *for friends *for lovers *for children and parents I sat there thinking about how that could just as easily be my father in the casket. Her dad had cancer, my dad has emphyzema and COPD, but he still smokes, regardless of being on oxygen 24/7. What if it were my father? or my boyfriend? He's got a bad heart...high blood pressure...takes meds and pops nitro like it's candy some days. What if that were him in the casket? or my mother? What would I do without my mother?? Sure, she drives me crazy with her judgemental ways, but ...she's always there for me. What will I do when she's not? I realized that I'm at the age now where funerals will become more frequent in my life. Parents of friends, hu...

Yep..that's what time it is...the ButtCrackofDawn. Could be earlier...I ain't seeing no dawning out there yet. And it's gonna take a helluvalotta Diet Coke to jumpstart my butt today. This week is killing me....but it's nearly over. Our big JA project is Friday night..and if I don't collapse before then, I'll be fine. I've put in so many hours in the past 2 weeks on it...including this morning...being interviewed on the radio at 6:45am...before school. Noone else would do it ....."I can't get up that early"..."I'm doing good to get out of my house by 7:00".."I've got kids to get ready".... Yeh Yeh...Whatever...MEfreakinTOO! So here I am...up...about to rouse my children an hour earlier than normal... going out every afternoon this week hanging more flyers, selling more tickets.... our town is papered in flyers announcing the spaghetti we'll be serving up. We better serve a LOT, for all the work I've done. I...

Finish a thought...... 1. My uncle once took me and my cousin fishing in the Gulf of Mexico off FL's coast, and we caught small sharks and filleted them for dinner. 2. Never in my life will I be a man. 3. When I was five my mom cut my hair so short I looked like a boy, and the girls in Kindergarten wouldn't let me play with them. 4. High school was not such a bad thing. I had friends and boyfriends, and even tho I wasn't a cheerleader or student council representative, I did ok. 5. I will never fully trust anyone to keep a secret, ever again. 6. Once I met my (insert a club) JA friends, I started feeling like I belonged somewhere in this town. 7. There’s this boy I know who steals my heart everytime he smiles at me. (he's 6 yrs old) 8. Once, at a bar, I flashed the doorman to get in w/o paying the cover charge. .....Ok ok...more than once! 9. By noon, My school day is half over, but the curriculum left to teach isn't! 10. Last night, we grilled some AMAZ...

One of the men at work told me today that he'd had a dream about me last night...and then he blushed, and said, "one of THOSE kinds of dreams". Another is constantly saying things to me that, given other circumstances, would get his ass fired for sexual harrassment. He also makes the "mmmmm mmmm" sound whenever he's walking behind me and has made it known he likes the view. It's all in fun, and I know this... At WalMart last week, 2 young hispanic guys were passing by me, they looked me up and down, and as they walked away, one says under his breath, "now THAT's my type." I got told by a male friend a couple days ago that I'm "always cookin", and another male I know insinuates how things would be if we ever found ourselves in a dating situation. I'm not trying to brag. I'm not vain. In all actuality, I find it remarkable that any man thinks things like that about me. I'm over 40, overweight, and off the market. But...

I saw this pic and thot..."Hey! I've never had a Cinnabon, either!" I know...sad but true! And as many airports as I use to frequent when flying between Arkansas and South Florida for 3 years...you'd think I woulda stopped in and gotten one at some point. They're in every airport I think. Must be some FAA regulation. *shrugs* But alas..nope. I've never partaken of their cinnamony goodness. Which led me to think about OTHER things I've never done. So..I thought I'd make a list. And I'm leaving off the stuff you may already know about me...like -no hard drugs, -no same sexual experiences, -never been in jail. Y'all know I'm basically a good girl. (or at least a bad girl in a good girl's clothing!) So..my list of things I've never done, that other people probably have: 1. had a manicure or a pedicure 2. eaten sushi 3. watched "It's a Wonderful Life" (i've seen a scene or two while flipping channels..but never have ...

So the first week of school is over...and my house sure does show it! I know it feels abandoned...being in my classroom from 6:45am-5:30pm each day this week, bringing home work to do each night....I've just not paid my poor house much attention. It's neglected. The laundry mountains in each room were reaching out to trip me as I walked by...begging to be picked up. The dust bunnies were purposefully multiplying just to get me to notice them. The clutter on the floor needed a bull-dozer to move it. The dishes...oh don't even get me started on how guilty the dishes were tryin to make me. But c'mon!! What could I do? I've been busy!! And I had to work at the Health Expo today... but..since coming home I've been spending some quality time with my house. The laundry room was happy to see me...the dryer even whistled my name I think! The sink blessed me with an endless supply of hot water..and all the bubbles lasted throughout the entire washing. The floor is able to...

I was tagged for a Meme by the wonderfully fabulous Barb, at Original Grits, to tell you 6 unspectacular quirks about myself. Before I go any further though I'd like to mention the rules of this Meme. 1. Link the person who tagged you. 2. Mention the rules. 3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours. 4. Tag 6 bloggers by linking. 5. Leave a comment for each blogger. Ok..this may be pointless, since the only 2 people that read me here prolly already know these things..but here goes. *and I don't know how to link on here*..sorry!! 1. I've become a compulsive volunteer: committees, teaching classes, holding offices in civic organizations,...it's going to become too much some day, but until then..I do what I can. 2. I'm afraid of change. Change of routine, change of habits...which is why I still have my old ancient computer that freezes up on me all the time. As much as I complain about it and as often as my boyfriend has talked of getting me a new one, I think I'm sec...

I have this fear of getting old. It's a rational fear. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to be old-looking. ok, that last one was my vanity talking. They say, "with age, comes wisdom". Not so in my case. For me..."with age, comes vanity." I was not an attractive youth. I was ok...but not the pretty one. The best friend I had in high school was prettier. She got all the guys, I got the left overs. The best friend I had in college was prettier. She got all the guys, I got to be their friends. I think that's part of the reason I got married when I did. He thought I was good enough to marry. But looking back...I don't know that he ever really told me I was pretty. But as I've aged...I've gotten better. You know...kinda like Sean Connery, or Tom Selleck. They both look WAY hotter now than they did 20-30 years ago. (of course they started out looking good, but they got even better.) I've gotten better ...

When my kids are gone, I can't go to bed. Oh...I get tired alright. I just can't make myself go to bed. I don't know why...but it's always like this when they are away. I stay up..procrastinating climbing into the bed, until I realize it's way too late to be up. Once I'm in bed, I flip channels and flip channels and flip channels until I catch myself nodding off. Then, and only then, can I turn off the tv and go to sleep. Then of course morning comes early and I'm tired the rest of the day. I'll be glad when they are home tomorrow...maybe I can get a good night's sleep.

Dancing together through life, Hearts as one, though miles apart Life-cruel, with twists and curves Reminding us it is not fair to all Destined to love Fated to be apart Soulmates

Husband, 2.2 kids, house with a white picket fence, and a dog. Perfection, right?? Who says? (and who wants .2 of a kid anyway??) I always thought that happiness was being half of a couple. A man and woman fall in love and just naturally want to get married and spend every minute together. They share a home, a bed, kids, bank accounts, chores, vacations.... together forever. THAT = Happiness. Eh....not so much anymore. A friend and I were talking about our relationships. She's been with her man about 5 or 6 years now. I've been with mine over 3 1/2. Both of our fellows love us. Both of our fellows speak of spending the rest of their lives with us. Up until now she was fine just being a dating couple. I wasn't. I wanted more. I thought that after a given amount of time, you were just suppose to get married. I mean...that's how it's suppose to be, right? If they love you, and they talk of being with you forever, and they are verbally making plans to be with you for ev...

Don't mind me...I'm sulking. Pouting. Feeling neglected. And I, of course, shouldn't be. But I am. I've been gone for 2 days. I wanted to see my boyfriend tonight. I knew he'd be working. It's the busiest weekend of the year for him. I knew he'd been sick all day yesterday and not feeling great today. But I also thought we had plans for me to meet up with him where he would be working once I got back into town. So I headed that way, and about half way there, I just got that feeling that I should call him. So I did...barely catching him as he was headed out somewhere else. Somewhere I didn't know he had to go to. Not that THAT mattered..but it started pissing me off that he hadn't called me to tell me that he had to go there. I assumed that he remembered we'd talked of me meeting him at the other place when I got back into town. Apparently not. And he'll be working late getting stuff done at his office that should've been done yesterday wh...

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Why is it that your body feels worse after spending all day doing nothing? I've spent 2 days doing nothing but "relaxing"...just watching movies and doing the computer thing.... and I hurt all over. I think I should've run a marathon! I can't imagine it making my body hurt any more than it does. We spend so much time running here and there, doing doing doing, always on the go...that when we get the chance to just "veg"...our bodies don't know how to react. I've taken ibuprofin and am tempted into turning on the heating pad. I need to get back into my routine of staying busy. I feel so much better when I am!

I've been checking back on my blog...no comments. Not on the last 2 entries, and then, only one on the one before that, by one of my good friends. But only by one. What's the deal? Why aren't people reading me here? Why are my other friends reading me here. What have I done? I read every entry my friends post. and comment... it's just discouraging.

I was talking with my 27 year old cousin yesterday, who is in a similar dating relationship to mine. I date a man who is not much older than me chronologically, yet has the ailments and libido of an octogenarian. She dates a man in his early 50s whose body naturally has a low sex drive. We were discussing the ever present dilemma of a loving relationship vs. a sexually satisfying one....and why life wasn't letting us have both. Both of us are very happy with our men and the relationships we have, except for the sex factor. Neither of us gets it very much. I asked her why...why can't we have both? My young grasshopperish relation replied, "because if there's anything I've learned in life, it's that it is a compromise." She said a mouthful. Then I read a friend's blog earlier that stated her *baby* tells her "it's all in what you can live with". I've expressed that same thought before...that we settle for "what we can live with...

~you've made the right decision? ~a bird in the hand really is worth two in the bush? ~sugar free and fat free foods REALLY have less calories? ~the rocky mountain way is better than the way we have? ~soulmates can be destined to be apart ~you've done something to hurt someone's feelings and don't know it ???? what kinds of things do you worry about?

I've just returned from an excursion of sorts. A "road trip". We decided early last week that we were bored and wanted to go somewhere, and after exchanging a few emails and texts with family members and friends, it was decided we would head to Florida. Looking on the map...it's a long way. 957 miles by Yahoo's configurance, from our house to their's....but it would be an adventure! So..a day later...we were off..suitcases packed for a 9 day jaunt across country and back. There are things one learns while traveling, especially if traveling with children. Things like: ~sleep traits you found so cute in your infant, are not so cute when said child is nearly 15. A 15 year old leg thumping his mattress makes a lot more noise than a 10 month old's! ~you can fit 3 people onto a queen size air mattress quite comfortably, if you lay across it sideways! ~There are still Danver's Restuarants in Mississippi. I haven't seen one of those around these parts sinc...

When will my children learn? I've talked to them and talked to them...and they still don't do what I want. All I want is for them to get along with each other. Be nice to each other. Respect each other. STOP CALLING EACH OTHER NAMES AND BEING UGLY! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr I know they are brother and sister---I know they are a year apart in age---I know about sibling rivalry.. but why can't they get along? Why can't they listen to me when we discuss HOW to be nice to each other? When Stephanie and DJ are fussing, Danny Tanner just sits them down, explains things to them, and then they get along. When Greg and Marcia fussed over the bedroom in the attic, they eventually came to an understanding without calling each other "dumbhead" and "uglybutt". AND without screaming. *sigh* Stepford children are looking more and more appealing.

http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47b7d737b3127ccec275595ccb7900000010O08IbtWLhs1bA9vPho/cC/f%3D0/ps%3D50/r%3D0/rx%3D480/ry%3D320/ Three days of shirking responsibilities...too bad it's over! Don't I wish? Don't you? Ever wish you could just stop being the mom? the plan maker? the plan carrier-outer? Who planned the holiday meal? Who shopped for it? Who made sure we had fireworks? Who made sure we had festive clothes to wear? Who cleaned up after it was all over? I was watching Weeds yesterday, and Nancy (the main character) said, "I love my kids, they are my life, but sometimes I just wish I didn't have kids, that I could just be free...free to do whatever I wanted." (yeh..that was a paraphrase...but you get the jist) Of course she then went on to feel guilty for saying it...but c'mon. We've all felt that at some point, haven't we? Somewhere between the PTO meetings and Church festivities, and the civic duties, and Girl Scouts and Youth Group, and t...

This site is so confusing to me. Where is the "add fave" button for when I find a friend and want to be able to click on them to read their latest entries? Where is the search feature for finding people? And why don't more blog sites have Comic Sans as a font choice? I'm not loving it here.

but I don't see a search feature.