Who Says I Have To Get Married?


Husband, 2.2 kids, house with a white picket fence, and a dog.
Perfection, right??
Who says?
(and who wants .2 of a kid anyway??)

I always thought that happiness was being half of a couple.
A man and woman fall in love and just naturally want to get married and spend every minute together.
They share a home, a bed, kids, bank accounts, chores, vacations....
together forever.
THAT = Happiness.

Eh....not so much anymore.
A friend and I were talking about our relationships.
She's been with her man about 5 or 6 years now.
I've been with mine over 3 1/2.
Both of our fellows love us. Both of our fellows speak of spending the rest of their lives with us.

Up until now she was fine just being a dating couple.
I wasn't.
I wanted more.
I thought that after a given amount of time, you were just suppose to get married.
I mean...that's how it's suppose to be, right?
If they love you, and they talk of being with you forever, and they are verbally making plans to be with you for ever, then shouldn't there be a ring? a proposal? something concrete?

She kept telling me to relax.

Well...I have.
Now SHE is the one speaking of marriage all the time.
making plans...will he propose on this date, will he propose on that date....
wanting the ring..

and I don't.

For the past 2 1/2 years, I've wanted a ring. An engagement ring. Something to show the world that my man was serious about being with me.
I wanted us to make plans, concrete plans, to get married and co-habitate together.
There were always valid reasons why we have to wait...but I still wanted that ring.
I guess I just wanted it all out in the open.
I mean..people ask all the time...."So when are you two gonna get married?"
I guess it's expected.

I expected it.

But now....
For some reasons I'm seeing all the positives to not being married.
It's not that I don't love him...
I do.
But now, the thought of living with him, ...eh...I dunno.
It's not as appealing as I first thought.

I can wait.

Maybe I've just found my independence.
I don't need a partner to complete me.

I do get lonely when we are apart.
I do wish I had someone to wake up with every morning. Someone to kiss goodnight as I close my eyes every night.
One house to clean, one set of groceries to buy, a more routine schedule for the kids.

But now....I almost feel like I'd be giving up something if we got married.
and it's starting to scare me that he IS gonna ask me to marry him sometime soon.

I don't know what I'd say.

Comments

Barb Smith said…
Hey...have you seen my friend, Robin? She used to write here but from reading this post, she's apparently passed this blog on to someone I do NOT know! LOL

Seriously, I think finding yourself is a great thing. You are happy in your skin, in your life, and that is a wonderful feeling. The funny thing is, now that you've reached this point, NOW is when he'll actually give you the ring. LOL

Isn't life weird that it works that way?

Love you!
August 11, 2008 at 7:07 AM
Original GRITS said…
You know damn well your opinion matters! Whaddaya mean by "if it matters"???

I've started another blog at: http://it-is-all-relative.blogspot.com. I'm not listing it publicly and won't be publicizing it...probably making it members only after I add those I want to read it have found it. I'm just starting and it's going to be a tough road for me to travel some days (you know the kinds of things I have hidden away) so bear with me.

I love you!
August 11, 2008 at 11:56 PM
Eve said…
Any man who won't marry the woman he claims to love, should be kicked to the curb! But like my Mama always said, "A man won't buy milk if he is are getting milk for free"...You are giving him everything he wants...a good wife without him having to make a commitment. He has a serious character flaw if you ask me.
August 12, 2008 at 3:12 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

So..it's a new year. And I haven't posted here since..umm..May. I have been thinking of deleting this blog..or at least all the entries in it, and starting over. Maybe a school blog. I see tons of cute ones everyday when I'm perusing pinterest. I could do that. maybe. no...probably not. But I might try. This place did not turn out the way I wanted it to. I have my personal "diary" blogs/journals elsewhere. This one is too public for that anymore. I should make it something fun. I don't want to lose it. Erica made it so cute for me. I don't even know how to do that... or, for that matter, delete the entries I have here. I can't find the "dashboard" button that use to be there. hmmmm.. This may take more time than I thought.
Read more

Alphabee Thursday: E is for Expectations

Image
Today is Alphabee-Thursday. That means my blog is brought to you by the letter E. is for yep...that's right. Expectations Such a big word. Dictionary.com defines it as Something expected. hmmm....kinda vague, so I looked up "EXPECT": 1.to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of 2. to look for with reason or justification: There are certain things I just expect in life: * I expect the light to come on when I flip the switch. * I expect the microwave to pop my popcorn perfectly in about 3 minutes. * I expect whatever I'm plugging into the electrical socket to work when I turn it on. * I expect to be given correct change when paying for a purchase. I also have expectations of people in my life. *I expect people to do what they say they will do *I expect my children to do what I ask of them, when I ask it *I expect kindness instead of rudeness in public *I expect honesty from others. *I expect my dog to jump all over me as...
Read more

C is for Crayon

Image
Today is Alphabe-Thursday. That means my blog is brought to you by the letter C...so let's get right down to it. is for ahhh...the simplicity of crayons! An essential tool in my profession, and yet such a vital part of our lives. Crayons have the ability to color our world. They add life to simple drawings, brighten up the darkest of pictures, and create rainbows on rainy days. After completing a writing assignment my students will often ask...."Do we have to draw a picture?" "Of course you do!! And use your crayons!" I will reply. And then the real feelings of their topic show through. Without color, how dull our lives would be. No yellow sunshiny days. No pink cotton candy. No blue skies and green grass. Lollipops would be tasteless and lemonade would be just water. The fashion industry would go bust and movies would not be worth seeing. Crayons add life. They add spirit. And they make me smile. Even tho a wee little piece of one was the bane of my world on M...
Read more