Taking it One Day at a Time
***If you haven't read the previous post, this won't make a whole lot of sense. So you might want to do that first. (if there's anyone out there that actually reads me here)
*So much has happened in the past week.
*School meetings and classroom cleaning.
*Greg going to the ER Tuesday morning after slipping and hurting his back at work.
*The birthday bash...of which I haven't even posted pics yet.
*The comment by John and Trey.
*Recovering from that while still trying to maintain normalacy for the M&Ms.
*Taking Molly to the Outpatient/After Hours clinic last night for a UTI she got at her dad's house...and getting jumped on for not letting John know about it while she was at his house.
See...lots going on.
--School is ok. My classroom is to a point I can teach in. I'm not stressing myself out over it this year. The walls are not all perfectly decorated, but we will be posting things to them as we learn..so I'm not covering them all up now just to look "cutesy".
--Greg's back is still bothering him. He stayed home from work Tues-Friday, then went in for a couple hours yesterday because stuff had to get done. It was excrutiating for him. He's going to have to fire his production man Monday I think for not getting stuff done and lying about it..thus costing the station money. It's been an ongoing thing for awhile.
You know Greg's in a bad way when he calls the doctor of his own volition and schedules an appt and MRI. He goes Tuesday.
--Birthday Bash was lots of fun. Mary is getting tall. Max is such a cutie. Pics soon, I promise.
--The statement John made to me about my relationship with Trey (or lack thereof) and Trey's affirmation of it then, and since, has had me in deep thought. They are right, to a point. Our relationship is not perfect. I've never been a mother to a teenage boy...I don't know teens....I'm an early childhood specialist. Little kids are what I know. This is all a learn as we go thing..and when he's not here everyday, that makes it harder.
What I thought was "giving him space and letting him do his own thing" has been viewed by them as neglect. AND, he's always been used to "the only child" mentality, and when he has to be with Matt and Molly for extended periods of time, he doesn't handle it well, nor like it. But ya know what? That's just life. That's FAMILY life. You don't get to pick your family. You learn to live with them and deal with them and interact with them. That's what families do. I know he loves them and cares for them. I know they get on his nerves. (Heck.they get on MINE), but you don't get to just shut them out anytime you want to.
I've tried to accommodate his need for quiet and peace from them on occassion...and again, I guess that's been viewed as apathy.
There's a lot of work to be done on this relationship. A lot of healing.
--It's been hard to just not fall apart. I can't verbally talk about it. I have not told any family or "real life" friends here...not even Greg. I don't know if it's a blow to my pride, to admit I'm not the perfect mother, or what...but when I start thinking about telling them, I just fall apart. I want to be mad at John....yet, he's hurting so bad by whatever is going on with him and Rachel (of which I know nothing yet)....so I'm not adding to that.
That needs to get worked out first....because I can't send the other 2 back there if there is chaos or turmoil or whatever going on. They need to figure out what they are doing so they can be there for the other kids.
--I had to take Molly to the doctor last night. Our pediatrician quit and we've not gotten another yet. The hospital here has opened and after hours and weekend clinic so we went there at 8:00 last night.
She has a Urinary Track Infection. I kinda thought so when I took her.
She texted me last week saying her vagina was itchy and it burned when she peed.
I told her to tell her dad or granny and they would get her some medicine to see if it made it better.
Well....she didn't. She let it go. I guess she was embarrassed.
When she got home, she started complaining again. I thought maybe it a rash from the pool, or a yeast infection and gave her some cream. Then she got to the point where she kept running to the bathroom to pee..but couldn't.
I knew then it was more. So we went to the doctor.
When I told John what was going on....he jumped me (thru text) about not letting them know so they could've done something about it. How I should not have depended on Molly to tell them.
I texted back that "yes, you are right. I know how that feels to find out later that nothing's been done. It's like all those times Matthew came back from your house with boils/staph infections".
What I REALLY wanted to say was "It wouldn't matter if I told you or not. You wouldn't have taken her to the doctor. You never do when I tell you to. You let Trey take his sling off, you let the kids get sicker while at your house so that I wind up taking them to the dr. b/c you either don't want to, or think you know best."
But I didn't. I was nice. He then called and everything was nice. He was very polite.
So...I've had a lot on my plate. And to top it off, the kids decided to start moving their stuff around to speed up the swapping of bedrooms. I explained that if they were gonna do it, to take all of Matt's stuff out of his room, set it in the living room, then move Molly's stuff out of her room and into his.
Well..they did it backwards. Now all of Molly's stuff is all over the living room and in the floors of her new room/Matt's old room...and let me tell you: SHE'S GOT A LOT MORE STUFF THAN HE DOES, which is why I wanted him to move his first. Less clutter in my living room.
My house looks like a tornado swept through it.
But....they are working...they've taken ownership of the project and it's not just ME doing it for them.
Of course I'm about to go in there with a garbage sack and start chunking crap.
THAT's my job! lol
So...with all that said, I need to flip the laundry, wash the dishes from where I was teaching them to make omelettes for breakfast, and then go monitor their progress and help out.
After that....it'll be movie time before Matt goes "home" to his dad's.
"Escape to Witch Mountain"...with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Fun for them..eye candy for me!
We all win.
And this is how I'm moving forward...and making it one day at a time.
*So much has happened in the past week.
*School meetings and classroom cleaning.
*Greg going to the ER Tuesday morning after slipping and hurting his back at work.
*The birthday bash...of which I haven't even posted pics yet.
*The comment by John and Trey.
*Recovering from that while still trying to maintain normalacy for the M&Ms.
*Taking Molly to the Outpatient/After Hours clinic last night for a UTI she got at her dad's house...and getting jumped on for not letting John know about it while she was at his house.
See...lots going on.
--School is ok. My classroom is to a point I can teach in. I'm not stressing myself out over it this year. The walls are not all perfectly decorated, but we will be posting things to them as we learn..so I'm not covering them all up now just to look "cutesy".
--Greg's back is still bothering him. He stayed home from work Tues-Friday, then went in for a couple hours yesterday because stuff had to get done. It was excrutiating for him. He's going to have to fire his production man Monday I think for not getting stuff done and lying about it..thus costing the station money. It's been an ongoing thing for awhile.
You know Greg's in a bad way when he calls the doctor of his own volition and schedules an appt and MRI. He goes Tuesday.
--Birthday Bash was lots of fun. Mary is getting tall. Max is such a cutie. Pics soon, I promise.
--The statement John made to me about my relationship with Trey (or lack thereof) and Trey's affirmation of it then, and since, has had me in deep thought. They are right, to a point. Our relationship is not perfect. I've never been a mother to a teenage boy...I don't know teens....I'm an early childhood specialist. Little kids are what I know. This is all a learn as we go thing..and when he's not here everyday, that makes it harder.
What I thought was "giving him space and letting him do his own thing" has been viewed by them as neglect. AND, he's always been used to "the only child" mentality, and when he has to be with Matt and Molly for extended periods of time, he doesn't handle it well, nor like it. But ya know what? That's just life. That's FAMILY life. You don't get to pick your family. You learn to live with them and deal with them and interact with them. That's what families do. I know he loves them and cares for them. I know they get on his nerves. (Heck.they get on MINE), but you don't get to just shut them out anytime you want to.
I've tried to accommodate his need for quiet and peace from them on occassion...and again, I guess that's been viewed as apathy.
There's a lot of work to be done on this relationship. A lot of healing.
--It's been hard to just not fall apart. I can't verbally talk about it. I have not told any family or "real life" friends here...not even Greg. I don't know if it's a blow to my pride, to admit I'm not the perfect mother, or what...but when I start thinking about telling them, I just fall apart. I want to be mad at John....yet, he's hurting so bad by whatever is going on with him and Rachel (of which I know nothing yet)....so I'm not adding to that.
That needs to get worked out first....because I can't send the other 2 back there if there is chaos or turmoil or whatever going on. They need to figure out what they are doing so they can be there for the other kids.
--I had to take Molly to the doctor last night. Our pediatrician quit and we've not gotten another yet. The hospital here has opened and after hours and weekend clinic so we went there at 8:00 last night.
She has a Urinary Track Infection. I kinda thought so when I took her.
She texted me last week saying her vagina was itchy and it burned when she peed.
I told her to tell her dad or granny and they would get her some medicine to see if it made it better.
Well....she didn't. She let it go. I guess she was embarrassed.
When she got home, she started complaining again. I thought maybe it a rash from the pool, or a yeast infection and gave her some cream. Then she got to the point where she kept running to the bathroom to pee..but couldn't.
I knew then it was more. So we went to the doctor.
When I told John what was going on....he jumped me (thru text) about not letting them know so they could've done something about it. How I should not have depended on Molly to tell them.
I texted back that "yes, you are right. I know how that feels to find out later that nothing's been done. It's like all those times Matthew came back from your house with boils/staph infections".
What I REALLY wanted to say was "It wouldn't matter if I told you or not. You wouldn't have taken her to the doctor. You never do when I tell you to. You let Trey take his sling off, you let the kids get sicker while at your house so that I wind up taking them to the dr. b/c you either don't want to, or think you know best."
But I didn't. I was nice. He then called and everything was nice. He was very polite.
So...I've had a lot on my plate. And to top it off, the kids decided to start moving their stuff around to speed up the swapping of bedrooms. I explained that if they were gonna do it, to take all of Matt's stuff out of his room, set it in the living room, then move Molly's stuff out of her room and into his.
Well..they did it backwards. Now all of Molly's stuff is all over the living room and in the floors of her new room/Matt's old room...and let me tell you: SHE'S GOT A LOT MORE STUFF THAN HE DOES, which is why I wanted him to move his first. Less clutter in my living room.
My house looks like a tornado swept through it.
But....they are working...they've taken ownership of the project and it's not just ME doing it for them.
Of course I'm about to go in there with a garbage sack and start chunking crap.
THAT's my job! lol
So...with all that said, I need to flip the laundry, wash the dishes from where I was teaching them to make omelettes for breakfast, and then go monitor their progress and help out.
After that....it'll be movie time before Matt goes "home" to his dad's.
"Escape to Witch Mountain"...with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Fun for them..eye candy for me!
We all win.
And this is how I'm moving forward...and making it one day at a time.
Comments
I think John has some nerve. You are his mother, why in the world would he even discuss that with you when the children are present.
Trey is a teenager, he has no place as a mediator in his father's relationship. It galls me so much that he said and did this to you -
Robin, you do the best that you can do - that is all that any of us can do. You are a good mother to your children. And remember Trey is a teenager complete with teenage angst too.
Big hugs.