Where I've been/What's been going on.....
Time for an update.
I went into great detail of some personal stuff over at my "diary" site....where the same group of friends have been reading me for 10 years. But I wanted to update a little here, too.
Things have been very stressful lately.
money problems--for me
w/o going into great detail...let me just say this:
when you decide to consolidate all your credit card payments,and get a company to help you with it, do not assume that just because they quote you a price to pay them each month that all of your creditors have already agreed to their terms and will leave you alone.
Nope...
It's gotten pretty bad...but I'm handling it one case at a time. That's all I can do.
family with health issues
**Dad, of course, is not well. His COPD has really got him down. My mom has been really worried, and even went to make arrangements with the funeral home where they live so she'd know what to do "when the time comes". She feels like it won't be long.
**Mom is also having more troubles. She's blind of course, and now is legally deaf. It's part of her Retinitis Pigmentosa (the eye disease)..it's been long coming, and now she needs hearing aids. She was originally told that they would be about $1500 each, which they don't have and Medicaid/Medicare wouldn't cover. But thanks to a friend who knows the Rehab system, she has been able to fill out paperwork and go through the process of having them get them for her at a very reduced cost. We just have to wait and see now.
**She also has, what I believe to be, early stages of Alzheimer's or something. It is driving all of us crazy. She can't remember things we tell her, she can't remember when she's told us stuff and tells us the same things over and over and over... bless her heart, I love my mother but it's getting to where I can't stand to talk to her on the phone (b/c she can't hear well enough to conversate correctly).
And she's always been a worrier...*a gene she passed on to me*...so now I get to hear all the things she's worried about over and over and over...
**My brother is one of those things. His health has unexpectedly taken a nose dive. As a young child he had severe asthma and allergies to everything. He outgrew it for the most part...was healthy enough to serve in the army reserves and make captain, teaches high school...has lived a healthy life despite nearly dying multiple times as a child.
A couple months ago he got pneumonia, and that has now triggered his asthma again. Full blown. He can't work for several weeks, is on 4 breathing treatments a day, inhalers, steroids, the whole shebang. My mother says that basically he is as bad off as my dad, just hasn't had to be put on oxygen yet, but she fears that coming. All she talks about now is how she fears he's gonna have COPD like my dad. Even the doctors said they could tell he'd been sick as a child by the condition his lungs were in. He is having to miss these next 2 weeks of school (after missing a week already and trying to go back, but collapsing) but hopes to make it for finals week.
**Which brings me to my hubby.
He has been suffering from neck/shoulder pain for months. In March he finally went to the doctor who told him to try pain meds for month and see if he healed on his own. He didn't. He had an MRI done in April and was told to get to a neurologist ASAP...that appointment was yesterday. (I'm glad he wasn't dying since it took a month to get an appointment "asap"!)
He is now facing surgery on Wednesday to remove a bone spur and fuse his C3 & C4 together, and take somthing out of his hip/pelvis bone to insert inbetween the two. He will have to wear a neck collar for 2-6 weeks, will not be able to go to work for a minimum of 2 weeks (yes...you can imagine how THAT news went over), and since he is a smoker, the healing process for his bones will be even slower than normal.
JOY!
And..the surgery is coming at a horrible time for ME...but if we didn't do it that day, we'd have to wait til July, which he cannot do b/c of the amount of pain he is in daily. (He's tired of having to take hydrocodone just to be able to function and get what minimal sleep he can get, and I don't blame him.)
BUT.... we are still in school.
We've been told there are no subs for the remainder of the year, so please try not to ask off.
June 1 (surgery day) is Molly's honor roll day, for which I had managed to get my class covered long enough to go see, since I've not been able to attend any of them this year.
June 2 is my class' honor roll...which I was already scheduled to miss (again, my aide would sit with my class) long enough to go watch Molly's 6th grade graduation!
now...she/we may not get to go to either...and I'll have to miss 2 full days...which totally drives me crazy b/c I always feel like I need to be with my class, especially on the last few days of school. The principal was none to happy when I told her this morning...but what can ya do? He's my husband. I need to be there. He wants me there. This is neck surgery...and he is actually pretty scared about it all. As am I. And worried about his recovery time..b/c he does not make a good patient!
He'll have to sleep in the recliner in the living room for weeks...which means having the boys over is not really a good idea....at least not at first. He will be so grumpy, and Matt sleeps in the living room on the couch when he is here....I'm gonna have to let John keep the kids the first couple weeks of summer while Greg is healing, before I can have them all here with me.
I haven't had the boys for several weekends due to their scheduling conflicts... and now it will be longer.
**I didn't even get to see Matthew for his 13th bday yesterday. Which brings up a whole 'nother issue I'm exasperated with....
My sister!
Her baby, Max, has a birthday this week as well. We've always done family bdays. We always work together to plan when it will be, and then make other party arrangements around it. Not her. For her bday and now Max's bday, they've just announced when those parties were, even after we've discussed the family bday dates. Last year, on Max's 1st bday, they announced a party for him at their house, in another city, the same day that we'd set for the family bday at my mom's. They don't seem to care that MY son also has a birthday the same week. But...it was his 1st bday, so I let it go.
Well, they did it again this year. Not even asking what we were planning, not taking into consideration my mother's plans for a family dinner.... and that it is now also my anniversary weekend. And then my mother just up and announced when she'd do the family party, not taking into consideration my anniversary. She didn't want to do it last weekend b/c John (my exhub) and his fiancee were gone to Florida to get married, but it was ok to schedule it for this past Friday even tho Greg and I were making plans to do something for our anniversary.
So, I went to Glenwood to mom's for a party for Matt and Max on Friday...but bypassed Max's party at my sister's house Saturday so that I could spend time with my husband on our anniversary before he has surgery next week that will lay him up for several weeks.
I've been feeling very negative about it all..but noone even bothered to ask ME what I had planned or wanted to do for Matthew's birthday..my own son...before making plans for him.
All these feelings..the stress, the negativity, the worriedness....has led me to the point of eating and eating and eating...
The only thing keeping me from totally falling apart is that things with me and Greg are great! He is such a wonderful husband, and he dotes on me, and tells me constantly how lucky he is to have me and how much he loves me... he is so supportive.
But with all that stuff..plus end of the year stuff at school, which I will not bore you with ,but suffice it to say it is VERY STRESSFUL...and negative feelings about summer workshops that I wasn't picked for and ones that I'm being made to go to that I do not want to go to.... and no summer vacation trips for this summer due to my husband not wanting me to go (which all is now working out I see as "everything for a reason" since he'll be home recovering from surgery now and I do need to be here I guess....)
just a lot of negative feelings and worried feelings and stress in my body/life right now.
I don't like it.
I'm trying not to let it get the best of me.
But sometimes it just all gangs up together and clobbers me and puts me down for the count.
Down into a bucket of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and a bag of potato chips, that is!
I went into great detail of some personal stuff over at my "diary" site....where the same group of friends have been reading me for 10 years. But I wanted to update a little here, too.
Things have been very stressful lately.
money problems--for me
w/o going into great detail...let me just say this:
when you decide to consolidate all your credit card payments,and get a company to help you with it, do not assume that just because they quote you a price to pay them each month that all of your creditors have already agreed to their terms and will leave you alone.
Nope...
It's gotten pretty bad...but I'm handling it one case at a time. That's all I can do.
family with health issues
**Dad, of course, is not well. His COPD has really got him down. My mom has been really worried, and even went to make arrangements with the funeral home where they live so she'd know what to do "when the time comes". She feels like it won't be long.
**Mom is also having more troubles. She's blind of course, and now is legally deaf. It's part of her Retinitis Pigmentosa (the eye disease)..it's been long coming, and now she needs hearing aids. She was originally told that they would be about $1500 each, which they don't have and Medicaid/Medicare wouldn't cover. But thanks to a friend who knows the Rehab system, she has been able to fill out paperwork and go through the process of having them get them for her at a very reduced cost. We just have to wait and see now.
**She also has, what I believe to be, early stages of Alzheimer's or something. It is driving all of us crazy. She can't remember things we tell her, she can't remember when she's told us stuff and tells us the same things over and over and over... bless her heart, I love my mother but it's getting to where I can't stand to talk to her on the phone (b/c she can't hear well enough to conversate correctly).
And she's always been a worrier...*a gene she passed on to me*...so now I get to hear all the things she's worried about over and over and over...
**My brother is one of those things. His health has unexpectedly taken a nose dive. As a young child he had severe asthma and allergies to everything. He outgrew it for the most part...was healthy enough to serve in the army reserves and make captain, teaches high school...has lived a healthy life despite nearly dying multiple times as a child.
A couple months ago he got pneumonia, and that has now triggered his asthma again. Full blown. He can't work for several weeks, is on 4 breathing treatments a day, inhalers, steroids, the whole shebang. My mother says that basically he is as bad off as my dad, just hasn't had to be put on oxygen yet, but she fears that coming. All she talks about now is how she fears he's gonna have COPD like my dad. Even the doctors said they could tell he'd been sick as a child by the condition his lungs were in. He is having to miss these next 2 weeks of school (after missing a week already and trying to go back, but collapsing) but hopes to make it for finals week.
**Which brings me to my hubby.
He has been suffering from neck/shoulder pain for months. In March he finally went to the doctor who told him to try pain meds for month and see if he healed on his own. He didn't. He had an MRI done in April and was told to get to a neurologist ASAP...that appointment was yesterday. (I'm glad he wasn't dying since it took a month to get an appointment "asap"!)
He is now facing surgery on Wednesday to remove a bone spur and fuse his C3 & C4 together, and take somthing out of his hip/pelvis bone to insert inbetween the two. He will have to wear a neck collar for 2-6 weeks, will not be able to go to work for a minimum of 2 weeks (yes...you can imagine how THAT news went over), and since he is a smoker, the healing process for his bones will be even slower than normal.
JOY!
And..the surgery is coming at a horrible time for ME...but if we didn't do it that day, we'd have to wait til July, which he cannot do b/c of the amount of pain he is in daily. (He's tired of having to take hydrocodone just to be able to function and get what minimal sleep he can get, and I don't blame him.)
BUT.... we are still in school.
We've been told there are no subs for the remainder of the year, so please try not to ask off.
June 1 (surgery day) is Molly's honor roll day, for which I had managed to get my class covered long enough to go see, since I've not been able to attend any of them this year.
June 2 is my class' honor roll...which I was already scheduled to miss (again, my aide would sit with my class) long enough to go watch Molly's 6th grade graduation!
now...she/we may not get to go to either...and I'll have to miss 2 full days...which totally drives me crazy b/c I always feel like I need to be with my class, especially on the last few days of school. The principal was none to happy when I told her this morning...but what can ya do? He's my husband. I need to be there. He wants me there. This is neck surgery...and he is actually pretty scared about it all. As am I. And worried about his recovery time..b/c he does not make a good patient!
He'll have to sleep in the recliner in the living room for weeks...which means having the boys over is not really a good idea....at least not at first. He will be so grumpy, and Matt sleeps in the living room on the couch when he is here....I'm gonna have to let John keep the kids the first couple weeks of summer while Greg is healing, before I can have them all here with me.
I haven't had the boys for several weekends due to their scheduling conflicts... and now it will be longer.
**I didn't even get to see Matthew for his 13th bday yesterday. Which brings up a whole 'nother issue I'm exasperated with....
My sister!
Her baby, Max, has a birthday this week as well. We've always done family bdays. We always work together to plan when it will be, and then make other party arrangements around it. Not her. For her bday and now Max's bday, they've just announced when those parties were, even after we've discussed the family bday dates. Last year, on Max's 1st bday, they announced a party for him at their house, in another city, the same day that we'd set for the family bday at my mom's. They don't seem to care that MY son also has a birthday the same week. But...it was his 1st bday, so I let it go.
Well, they did it again this year. Not even asking what we were planning, not taking into consideration my mother's plans for a family dinner.... and that it is now also my anniversary weekend. And then my mother just up and announced when she'd do the family party, not taking into consideration my anniversary. She didn't want to do it last weekend b/c John (my exhub) and his fiancee were gone to Florida to get married, but it was ok to schedule it for this past Friday even tho Greg and I were making plans to do something for our anniversary.
So, I went to Glenwood to mom's for a party for Matt and Max on Friday...but bypassed Max's party at my sister's house Saturday so that I could spend time with my husband on our anniversary before he has surgery next week that will lay him up for several weeks.
I've been feeling very negative about it all..but noone even bothered to ask ME what I had planned or wanted to do for Matthew's birthday..my own son...before making plans for him.
All these feelings..the stress, the negativity, the worriedness....has led me to the point of eating and eating and eating...
The only thing keeping me from totally falling apart is that things with me and Greg are great! He is such a wonderful husband, and he dotes on me, and tells me constantly how lucky he is to have me and how much he loves me... he is so supportive.
But with all that stuff..plus end of the year stuff at school, which I will not bore you with ,but suffice it to say it is VERY STRESSFUL...and negative feelings about summer workshops that I wasn't picked for and ones that I'm being made to go to that I do not want to go to.... and no summer vacation trips for this summer due to my husband not wanting me to go (which all is now working out I see as "everything for a reason" since he'll be home recovering from surgery now and I do need to be here I guess....)
just a lot of negative feelings and worried feelings and stress in my body/life right now.
I don't like it.
I'm trying not to let it get the best of me.
But sometimes it just all gangs up together and clobbers me and puts me down for the count.
Down into a bucket of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and a bag of potato chips, that is!
Comments
Here's a thought...they have flights out of Little Rock to Pensacola on Vision Airlines for less than $80 round trip. Why don't you come down and stay with me for a while this summer...after Greg has recuperated a bit and while the kids are with John. Just fly down for a few days. We'll hit the beach and my favorite thrift stores and I'll show you all around down here. We'll eat Mexican food and Margaritas for lunch and lay by the pool and get our tans going. What do you say? You get here and I'll take care of everything else. Does that entice you? :) Just let me know...the door is wide open.
I love you!
Barb